88. Lore

On Food & Cooking: the Science & Lore of the Kitchen (1984, Harold McGee)

I am so ready; so, so ready to just jump, no, to just DIVE into the fundamentals of FOOD SCIENCE. It's calling me. I feel like I'm banging on a door: "Let me in! Let me in!" Or simply very impatient. I'm a kid ready to "bomb" into a pool of plastic balls & they'll jump up in the air around me. THAT is what food science is to me.

Where did this weird passion come from?... Who cares?

I was at a conference yesterday during which at one point, the presentor talked about now being the time of our lives (my class was the audience), the transition period between teenage years & adulthood, where you begin to feel a fire in your stomach, a real physical energy that says to you: That's what you freaking want to do. Even though I feel it more in my heart & it radiates into my stomach & my throat, I'm certain it's the same thing. I think this is the désir I was studying in philosophy. The "want times a hundred".

Nonetheless, it still scares me to "specialize". I don't particularly enjoy the idea of "specializing" in a field. My ideal has always been to learn & learn & learn, but not to dig deeper & deeper in one subject but to broaden my knowledge, to be "trivial", so to speak, & not necessarily an expert. But I think that I can make an exception for food science...

University is making me impatient & so is that book, which I probably already wrote about, I can't remember...

Regards, (hehe)

[bt]

p.s. There's something else I want to talk about but I don't want to jinx anything so just consider it mentioned with this post script. ;)

87. What a 15/20 means to me...

So three weeks ago, I had a week of Bac Blancs, which is the French equivalent of midterms, but so not at the same time. This week, it's the week of "getting marks back". If there are two things I love, it's tests & getting marks back. Whoopee!! (sarcasm-free)

Yesterday, I got my math midterm back & (drumroll please)...I got 15/20!!! That's for sure in the top 3 marks in the class. Go me!! Especially because I always feel like I'm digging my way out of a "sh*t pit", as i refer to it in my head. That means that I was the underdog; I started off really lost & really with a completely different knowledge that their knowledge such that everyone had really low expectations of me...

ANYWAY, in honour of my success, I've decided to come up with an equivalence chart between American marks and French marks so that you may properly grasp the significance of my 15/20.

FRENCH MARK = AMERICAN MARK = GENERAL REACTION
6 & under = 49% & under = you failed so badly that you might as well think that it never happened; you laugh cause it's a joke; once in a lifetime
7-9 = 50-59% = Ouch, you bombed. Should've studied.
10 = 60-69% = The glass is half full: at least you didn't fail...
11 = 70-74% = Living on the edge, eh? Try harder.
12 = 75-80% = meh... Room for improvement.
13 = 80-85% = Good work. Keep it up.
14 = 86-90% = Great job! Fantastic!
15 = 91-95% = Holy cow! My word! Incredible!
16 = 96-97% = Congratulations! Excellent!
17 = 98-99% = You're kidding, right?
18 = 100% = AMAZING!!! This calls for a mini-celebration.
19 = 101% = speechless. This calls for HUGE celebration.
20 = 110% = pretty much unheard of.

So there you go; I got a "Holy cow! My word! Incredible!" & btw, I was only 0.5/40 from getting 16/20 so BAM!!

& just for reference, my class average was 10.44 last term, which was supposed to be the easiest term...

[bt]

86. I'm Stuck.

so browsing through the limitless pages of the net, i came upon a short article written about a girl named Kitra Cahana. she's 22 & she's basically a professional photojournalist. she's a university graduate & she had her photo published in the New York Times when she was 17. she won the 2009 photographer internship at National Geographic & now she's pretty much pro. may i repeat that she's only 22?

when i think about how i'm only less than 4 years from being 22, it makes me nearly depressed about how i couldn't possibly accomplish what she's accomplished in the less than 4 years i have left. & the thing is, i know that i have accomplished stuff but stuff is clearly, not enough. it's plain, it's boring so the big question is: what makes me so extraordinary?

the problem is that i can be very very lazy but only because i'm strictly...uninterested. i honestly believe that the system our society runs on is flawed. absolutely yet reasonably flawed. it's built so that if you're not a grosse tête, then you're not really meant to succeed. sorry, that's just the way it goes. i guess it's just too bad for people who have a passion for building ikea furniture (me), or for meticulously analyzing people's handwritings (also me). ok, i'll admit that those aren't the best examples, but my point is that it's all a game of chance; for one to succeed (money-wise) in today's world, you have to be born in the right country, to the right parents with the right economical situation to send you to the right schools & with the right connections. basically, being "driven" just doesn't cut it anymore.

i don't believe in education. i used to but ever since i was 15, i scrapped that idea & came to my senses. education, the way it's done today, is utterly stupid. however, that does not in any way mean that i don't believe in knowledge, because if there's one thing i can't get enough of, is pure knowledge. but "education" is getting so material, so selective, so superficial that it really doesn't interest me anymore. you pay a beepload of money to get in just so that on your resume, you can have a few simple letters (say, PhD) printed & BAM you're hired. pitiful. higher education especially, is sooo "made for the elite" that i can't stand it anymore. what's the harm in sharing some knowledge? yes, i realize that not everyone has the competencies to be a heart surgeon but if someone does, shouldn't they be one? & vice versa: if someone doesn't, shouldn't they NOT be one? for me, it's just embarassing how even education has become as invaluable as dollar-store merchandise. education is a sell-out.

which all leads me to say: as much as i don't like it, i don't think i could not continue it. unfortunately, if i wanted to change things, i'd have to be taken seriously & gain much more knowledge & to be taken seriously & to gain much more knowledge, i need an education...i'm so sorry i'm such a traitor.

i should probably get to my original point...i hate thinking about how i didn't volunteer or how i didn't study harder or try harder when i wrote my exams. i hate knowing that i'm capable but can't prove it because i didn't do enough stuff that qualifies to be put on a university application. see, i don't believe in doing things just for the sake of putting it on your application either (sell-out) but the system is just set up like that & it's wrong. i hate knowing that half the people who are "better than me" are actually "not" (if you know what i mean). i feel like i'm stuck being me, which isn't a bad thing; it's just i'd like to see myself moving forward a little more. progress. i feel i lack progress. i need to be assured that i'm not just treading water. i need to know that i'm changing & i'm producing change in my surroundings...that i have a purpose? yes, that i have a purpose, in simple but inexact terms.

i think i'm blogged out.

[bt]

85. Visual Aids (Happy Valentine's Day)

I won't explain cause I already did in posts 82-84 & I'm just too tired, which if you're a reader, you would know why...
Btw, I'm testing with smaller photos that you can click on to enlarge.

philosophy read for vacation...ugh. originally, this pic was to show "illusion", which i find is a reccuring theme in a lot of visuals. this book looks normal but actually, there is no text in the middle (spine). thank goodness cause that cuts my reading in half but you wouldn't have know that if i hadn't told you. ah...illusion :p i love how bad the human eye is. any better & we couldn't watch tv.

on se promène en Lorraine

the dolls from the B&B room i shared with host sis. i dare you to click on the photo & stare at the doll on the far right.

my bed; now tell me that isn't freaky.

it's bed, then breakfast (une chambre d'hôte)

my bed was slept in...

dessert by a fantastic cook (host bro's wife); apples & pears, cooked & pouched in filo; forget the name; 7.5/10

REAL german shepherds

on the bus from McD's to bowling & laser quest (italy 1&3)

i want this dog. (afs co-ordinator's dog)

another homemade card...
party food
a dance...guess which one..

84. Party Animal

vodka is my new attraction but sooo not in the way you may think. it's purely experimental, which once again, is a wrong way to put it. i'm talking (pedicure on my toes-toes...lol) food science-wise. ahh...enlightened?

i went to a party last night & not a youthful, invitation by card kind of party. more like the walk-in-unannounced & drink, smoke, dance & vomit kind. along with the trashy costumes. mix that all together. mhmmmmm...so i'm growing up.

nah, honestly, it wasn't that bad at all & i even thought very little (more like nothing) big happened & plus, i came out alive & sober so that says something (not that i drunk). i'm not really expressing myself well...i think it's the alcohol.

anyway, it was afs italy's 18th b-day party; a total of about 25 kids from her lycée, from italy (over for the weekend), the other afs italy & me. in the beginning i was like "OMG get me out of here. i don't want to stay here." when everyone is just so eager to get their hands on some alcohol, or sniff laughing gas or snort tabacco...plus, i didn't know anyone except the other afs italy so...

but i ended up loosening up (alcohol? :S); i danced for hours & ate & drank & met so many new people, all of whom were super nice so i ended up having a great time. one girl vomited, which cause a scene cause it was inside the house & on the staircase to the basement (part was in the basement & garage; freezing btw) (& there was still a big chunk there this morning that they forgot to pick up :o) everyone smokes too. i'm not even exaggerating; EVERYONE. i can't think of one person at the party that i didn't see smoke except me, so there. we ate chips, pasta, pizza & drank, coke, juice, beer, rum & vodka. polish & russian. weird thing was we found a bottle of polish vodka in the freezer...frozen. now if you know anything about the properties of alcohol, it's that it doesn't freeze, especially not at 40%?! holy cow!!! what were we really drinking??? (me, sipping; two sips for SCIENTIFICALLY EXPERIMENTAL purposes; what a drink!!! it's water then it's like vaccination alcohol!! no wonder it's a disinfectant...)

so when the partying was over, half the ppl went home but HALF THE PEOPLE STAYED, most of whom didn't plan on staying, namely me, which made it hard to find a place to sleep. there are only so many rooms in a house. at first, i reserved a bed with other afs italy & we chatted & i learned some italian while ppl just fooled around (tired & drunk) & read an italian book on orgasms. i attempted reading italian in front of a bunch of italians who didn't laugh so good sign. plus, they were GORGEOUS. heck, everyone is gorgeous.

i, along with bday girl & 4 others stayed up til 5 in the morn (as always, i stay up til early next day; it's just the way a party?) & finally, i found nowhere to sleep so i fell asleep freezing in my costume (a sheer t-shirt with a skirt whose seam was ripped my my *ss...yup. i've learned that the thing i wanted the most was socks. now that was a DESIRE. i was freaking freezing!!!) woke up disgusting; greasy, dirty, smelled like smoke & basically all partied out. good thing my house is a 2-minute drive away (stupid me; why didn't i ask for some pj delivery? ahh, i couldn't). when i got home, i changed into pjs, waxed (yes, AFTER a party that i wore a skirt to), showered, creamed & put my pjs back on. then i spent a good 2-3 hours going through all my bordel in my room that accumulated during exam period & got rid of a lot of junk. feels good to be clean(ish) again. & in my own bed tonight. worked a few hours too & celebrated Chinese New Year whild watching Vancouver 2010. SO my night :p

ciao

[bt]